Self Help


I'm frequently asked, “Are you always this joyful?” Surely you can’t always be this chipper.” 

Well, as it turns out, I am, and I'm not ashamed of it.

Sure, I have days when I'm sidelined by bad news or by someone who is disrespectful or unkind.  Who hasn't been there?  The trick is that I never let that linger. Life is short, and I’m not about to let anything steal a single moment of my joy. 

One thing I started doing several years ago is CHOOSING to keep toxicity and negativity out of my life. Yep. You heard me. I CHOOSE joy. What's great is that you have that choice, too!

You see, joy — as opposed to happiness — is not a feeling, but a state of being. It's about peace and confidence and seeing the world through a filter of love and kindness. 

This doesn't mean I'm weak or acquiescent; it means I choose not to bask in, or spread negativity.  It means I'm in control of my life and emotions.

So, if YOU want joy in your life, here are a few things that I have learned along the way:

-Move away from toxic people, information and physical items that hold negative associations.  This includes anything from that "downer" friend, co-worker or social media account, to a seemingly harmless gift from an old relationship you're holding onto for some "can't let it go" reason.

-Ask the hard questions: "Why am I choosing to keep this toxicity in my life?" Then listen to your excuses. My experience coaching and teaching yoga taught me that many people don’t want to hurt someone's feelings, but others are sadly addicted to stress that comes with a toxic relationship.

-Exercise. Meditate. GET OUTSIDE. Choose a healthy diet. Fill yourself up with life and light, and you will see changes. I promise!

-When it comes to toxic people, liars, gossips or "sad sacks," do not feel sorry for them and do not enable them. These purveyors of negativity are "energy predators" who love nothing more than to spread their misery. They do not care about your well-being. Walk Away Now. Believe me, they'll find another victim. It's what they do. 

-Hear this truth clearly: by choosing to allow toxicity into your mind, spirit, and heart; YOU ALONE give away the space that should be filled with joy, positive energy, and happiness. There's a BEAUTIFUL life waiting for you once you let go of negativity.  Life is short. The energy spent dealing with toxicity could be spent growing yourself, doing positive things for others, or simply enjoying life to its fullest.

-What you choose to take in is what you will ultimately give back to the world. Instead of "garbage in, garbage out," I ask that you choose, "love in, love out." #LoveInLoveOut

Seek it and you will find it. The choice is yours alone. 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.”‭ Galatians ‭5:22-23 ‬

The most important question you'll ever ask yourself: "What makes me happy?"

When asked, "What do you do for a living?"  I used to say, "I'm a publicist." 
The more I refined what I did, however, the less accurate that description became. 

So, what do I do for a living? Well, I'm still a publicist, communications strategist and brand builder — however, over the past 20 years, my role has evolved to include that of a coach. 

As a publicist, I write press releases, pitch and place stories and book performances and personal appearances. I help journalists connect with artists, authors and business leaders for interviews, and I research facts and statistics to support my pitches. 

While excellent coverage in the right media channels at the right time is the end game for any publicist, all great pitches start with a clear story.

(What 20+ years in PR has taught me is that the refinement of a story needs to take place before anything else. You'd be surprised how many marketing, tech companies, and ad agencies approach this in reverse. It never works, and I've lost count the number of times I've been brought in to help realign or "restart" campaigns that have lost direction because there wasn't a clear message, to begin with.)

That's where coaching comes into the picture.

Plan the work, then work the plan:

Because my clients range from recording artists and executives to Human Resource directors of major corporations, my clients’ goals often include delivering fabulous on-camera interviews and performances on national TV, to nailing a seemingly basic conference room presentation. 

Whatever the goal, we always start with a Q&A session that yields a client's core story points. 

Who are they? What makes them different? Why should people "tune in" to their message? What do they want to achieve, long term? All of these nuggets matter in uncovering their unique and compelling story.

I listen carefully to the client's goals and dreams, and then I create a one-sheet reflecting their story. We build pitches from this base-narrative.

What's REALLY cool about this process is that it ALWAYS, leads to a "bucket list" discussion that reveals what the person wants to achieve in their lifetime, and what do they need to do to make that happen. The client not only has "A-HA!" moments but they make life-changing plans and commit to setting those plans in motion.

As a publicist, the "story" is where my work would end. As a coach, it's where my work begins. 

Once the client's "dreams" are out in the open, we work on weekly, achievable action items and set deadlines for long and short term goals. Then we meet/call/Skype monthly for accountability and discussion.

The results are life changing! And, guess what? You can do this, too.

Do you want to change your circumstances? Do you want a better life?  Look deep into your heart and ask:  What makes me happy? What makes my heart jump out of my chest? What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail? 

Once you answer that question in detail, write it down. Within moments, your life’s roadmap will reveal itself. 

So ... come on now. Think about it: What makes YOU HAPPY!? 

Your future is in your hands!